Meet Me in St. Louis

You may have noticed me complaining lately about being stressed and tired.  Then there are the cryptic comments and not to mention pulling out of the Chicago Women’s Half.  I am about to share with you, dear readers, at least part of the reason why this is so.

Apparently making life altering / changing decisions can be stressful.  Who knew?  In fact, my chiropractor said I was a great example of how stress can affect a body.

So often song lyrics can express feelings much better than plain words.  In that vein, recently the chorus of my life has been should I stay or should I go now?  Long story short, the answer is go, and you may have put two and two together and arrived at St. Louis as my destination.

Wait, what?  Did I just say I’m moving to St. Louis?  In the way of back story, but still short, a former boss is now working in St. Louis, Mo.  I had been debating whether or not I needed a change in my life and so I might have asked if there were any openings.  And there were.  My initial reaction was “Oh, crap!  What have I done?”  I may think I want change in my life, but I actually abhor change of any kind.  But the deeper I got into discussion with the potential new job and with myself, I realized that while I don’t like change, sometimes it is a good thing.  Fast forward to now, and I am leaving my old job to start a new one in St. Louis.  Okay, deep breath.  It gets more and more real each and every time I say it.  I am moving to St. Louis.  I am moving to St. Louis.

St. Louis??  I thought maybe at some point I would leave Seattle again but for Chicago, or New York, or Los Angeles.  A big city.  One with a big airport.  An actual international airport.  Not once did St. Louis EVER cross my mind.  Ever.  The only things I know about St. Louis are the World’s Fair was there (thanks to Judy Garland’s movie) and it has an arch.

I’m trying to look at this as an adventure.  Not a forever adventure.  Seattle is my home and I will be back some day.  But a now adventure.  A Midwest adventure.  One that will hopefully let me explore a bit more of the country.  And knock a few states off the list!

I’m slightly terrified to move half way across the country.  To start over again.  To make new friends.  To carve out a life for myself.  To find a new niche and support system.  It is daunting to think about starting over.  I do not make friends easily (part of that comes from being extremely shy).

Putting the starting over aspect aside, I am also nervous about the job.  While I may complain about my current job, I have been there almost 10 years.  There is a lot of familiarity and comfort that comes with being somewhere for 10 years!  It’s not that I hated my job.  Like any job, it had its good days and not so good days.  And I love the people I work with.  I may not necessarily have wanted to leave, but there came a point where I knew it was right to go.  But now all the doubts are creeping in with regards to the new job.   Will I really be able to do what they expect of me?  Will I be able to adjust?  Will they like me?

But I keep coming back to this one thing –  you know when something is right?  This has been an extremely difficult decision, but in the end, this is the path I’m supposed to be on – at least for now.

If I disappear for a while or get really quiet, this is the reason why.  I am in the process of packing up my old life and getting ready to embark on a new chapter.  I’m still here, just buried under a mountain of boxes.  It is amazing how much stuff you can accumulate!  I am using this as an opportunity to purge my possessions and start clean.

The more people I tell, the more this all becomes real, and not just a figment of my imagination.  I am moving halfway across the country!!

With all this happening and trying to pack up my life, the Chicago Women’s Half was becoming more trouble than it was worth.  A few days to explore Chicago didn’t seem like the best in light of all that I have to pack!  Plus the chance to do Seattle RnR “one more time” was a huge draw.

Have you ever had to start over?  Any words of wisdom about making friends, moving or St. Louis?

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18 Responses to Meet Me in St. Louis

  1. Hilary S says:

    Moving halfway across the country isn’t as bad as it seems! Think of all the new adventures, paths, and running routes you’ll have!! You’ll settle in and be great! Good luck!

  2. Jaime says:

    Wow, Emily, best of luck!! This could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. You just never know. I’ve lived in Arizona for most of my life and sometimes I wish I could just pick up and move somewhere else. I guess I still could, right?

    Anyway, I’m sure this will be great! 🙂

  3. msposko says:

    You’ll do great with the move. The Midwest is different than the Northwest but nothing you can’t handle. Join some groups (running or anything else you’re interested in) and you’ll be meeting people in no time is my only advice. Good luck and have fun!

  4. Mandi says:

    I think you’re going to have a grand adventure! Not everyone is as brave as you — recognizing that they need change and following through on it even though they’re scared. Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote: “Do one thing every day that scares you” is something I remind myself of every time I feel myself getting in a rut. Way to go for making it happen!

    • Emily says:

      Thanks Mandi! Being scared to do it was part of what finally convinced me it was the right thing to do. That is a great quote to live by.

  5. Jenn L says:

    Congrats on the new job and the new adventure! It might be a scary thing to do, but the scariest part is over with…you committed to it and I think that’s the hardest part! Can’t wait to hear how it goes and how you like St. Louis!

  6. Abby says:

    What a great adventure! I know it’s scary, but sometimes you just have to go and do it. At least you have a solid job you’re going to- When I moved to NYC from NOLA I didn’t even have that!

    It’s fun and so worth it. I promise! Worse thing? You had a crazy life experience! Wishing you well and can’t wait to hear all about it!

  7. kebe51 says:

    Wow! Congrats on your brave new chapter! That’s so exciting! I often talk about picking up and moving, but I haven’t and probably never will. You’re embarking on an exciting adventure, and the second guessing may never stop. But I’ll say this, it’s part of a great scene from “Scrubs” (awesome tv show): “Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy.” This decision wasn’t easy, but the best things in life often aren’t. Good luck! Can’t wait to read about your new city! 🙂

    • Emily says:

      Thanks Kellie!! It definitely wasn’t an easy decision. But that is so true – what’s worth having usually doesn’t come easy.

  8. Run, Karla, Run says:

    Look at it as a huge adventure! I take inspiration at my mother who up and moved to New England at the age of 52 after living in Chicago her entire life. She didn’t know a single person, but she wanted a change and had always dreamed of being out east. So one day she just did it. It took some time and some adjusting, but now she has a full life and tons of friends and is SO happy. Congrats on taking the plunge! And I LOVE that Judy Garland movie, btw. One of my faves 🙂

    • Emily says:

      Thanks Karla!! It will be quite an adventure. That’s such a great story about your mom! And encouraging too.

  9. dnardi710 says:

    Wow! I am SOOO far behind on my blog reading (thanks to classes!) so I am just getting to this! Honestly speaking from having recently made some major life changes making the decision is the hardest part, so congratulations on getting through that! Moving from a job you’re not happy at will make a world of difference in your life, and think of all the exploring you’ll get to do in a new city! Good Luck!

    • Emily says:

      Thanks!! The decision was definitely very hard. Now it is sinking in that I am moving! But it will be quite an adventure.

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